Thursday, October 15, 2009

Letters to Someone

Dear Dinner Table ~
Your load has been light lately, I know. But I say, be grateful for the time off. The holidays are just around the corner and you know how I love to entertain! For now, I promise to make a crock pot o' something so we can enjoy your company, as well as something that requires a basket of rolls. Very soon, I promise. It's not that we love the kitchen island more, but it does seem more appropriate for tater tots and turkey sandwiches. Ya know? Don't sulk - it's not becoming of you. We'll see you for Sunday dinner.

Fondly,
The Lady Who's Not a Gourmet Cook


Dear So Cal Freeway Drivers ~
Some water on the road should not turn a 35 minute drive into a 2 hour drive. Do you hear me? Should. Not. I know that rain is foreign here in the land of milk & honey, but experience has shown me that we'll live through it. I also happen to know that water falling from the sky will not permanently damage your Range Rover. I promise. And driving 42 miles per hour on the freeway won't make it go away. It will just make you sit in the rain longer. And me. And I don't like it. Move along, please.

More Than a Little Frustrated,
The Rainy Day Driver

Dear Overweight Spaniel ~

Your spotty snoot is just the cutest and I say time and time again that you're the sweetest dog ever. Ever. But holy smokes do you have the worst manners in the world!!!! I've been trying to train the babes to close the bathroom doors to curb you of your lust for toilet water. We'll keep working on that one. And I am a little sorry for smacking you with a pillow in the middle of the night, but I just can't understand why you have a need to groom at 1 AM. The big, black man sleeping next to you is your BROTHER and no one else in the house cares what you look like. Give it a rest. Go night night like everyone else and I'll keep letting you sleep here. Blow me off and you might be outside with the raccoons. I think they could take you. Knock it off, sister!!

Big Hugs & Kibble,
Mom


Dear Household Appliances ~

Do you all get together with Buzz and Woody in Andy's bedroom and talk about your plans and dreams?  I am thinking you must communicate somehow and just don't understand why you've scheduled a revolt right now.  We were squeaking by with the duct tape on the washing machine even if I did have to squeeze my eyes shut each time I walked past, but then you decided to flash a brand new error message and quit altogether.  Not cool.  And now the oven.  WTF? It IS possible we're going to want clean clothes and dinner on the same day.  Will you please cooperate.  Pretty, pretty please?  I'd love a shopping trip this weekend, but not where you live.

So Over It Right Now,
Me

Every Thursday you can head over to Shortmama's and read her letters and see what her bloggy friends have to say, too. It's always a good time around here!

11 comments:

Emmy said...

Great letters! And yes, So Cal residents definitely do not know how to react to rain.

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

Hi There! Thank you for visiting me yesterday to celebrate my SITS Day! U are deeply appreciated!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

my table is hardly ever used b/c i am not a gourmet cook either

i don't know how my mom did 3 home cooked meals every day of my life until we hit middle school and she got a job and then that was over, but still

Desert Rose said...

Oh, your Spaniel is soooo cute! We have a mutt, pit bull/lab. I've always wanted a cocker spaniel, but my husband says they aren't good with kids, so we don't have one. They are so dang cute though...even if they get annoying habits!

shortmama said...

Thanks for joining in!

My hubs has been cooking more lately and it has been a nice break!

Helene said...

I love your letters....so creative and funny!!!

My kitchen table never gets a break...you should see it, it's so ugly and stained because of the kids. I think it wants a makeover but why bother...maybe after the kids have moved out someday!

Kasey said...

that cracks me up! we used to have a dog and I can remember throwing things at him to get him to stop licking himself! HA!

MiMi said...

Funny!
See, I live in Oregon and once summer's over and it gets wet everyone has to re-learn how to drive. It's like, "HELLO, people!!! It rains 9 months outta the year here!" Wake up idiots.

Shop with Me Mama said...

Haha! Love the letters!

Emmy said...

Stop by my blog as I have an award for you.

Megan said...

Too funny!!

What in the world is it with people thinking that the world is going to end because of a little rain? Makes me so irritated as well! DRIVE PEOPLE, DRIVE!!

Thanks for stopping by on my SITS day!! =)

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails