Thursday, May 13, 2010

In the Making of the Man take care not to Break the Boy

The teardrops cling to his mile long lashes, but his chin is held so high that they refuse to fall.

The lip is threatening to quiver but the jaw is clenched so tightly that it's not allowed.

It's part defiance.

It's mostly learned behavior.


My first born is eight and has been treated for 7 and 1/2 of those years like he is ten years older.  He has always been wiser and more mature than his little body will truly allow him to fulfill.  In the after-dinner/pre-bedtime swirl of the evening, I see that he simply can't fill the great big shoes we gave him so long ago.

He is a little boy.

He is not an athlete.

He is not a scholar.

He is not perfect.

He is overwhelmed and his heart is bruised.

I am longing to wipe the tears from the velvet of his lashes and hold him tight until he sleeps in my arms.  He needs his Mama to hug him and tell him it's OK. 

I reach for him and he pulls away.

"I love you, buddy".

"G'night, Mom."

He's gone and I am heartbroken.  I need him to let me make it better, but he's learned to do it himself.

We're going to fix that.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day and Thank You

I've written this three times today and it never seems to be right. How do you sufficiently honor your Mother and the women who are like your Mother or like a Mother to your own children? I can't get it right.

If nothing else, I make sure that I never forget to say thank you.  Mother's Day may be the best opportunity for it.


Mama -for loving me unconditionally, even at my most unlovable 15 year old self, and showing me how it feels when everything else is wrong and to still have you standing behind me. I try to imitate you constantly and pray that it's working. Your unfailing love is a precious gift that will carry on long after you and me.

My treasured Mother-in-law -- for the care you gave to raising your Son. He is more than I could ever ask for as a husband and father to your grandchildren. No man treats a woman so well if he doesn't love his Mother first.  You mean the world to me, but even more to him and them.   How lucky we are that you're you.

Lana - I hate calling you that, but I was just so dang old when you blessed us I am not sure what else will work. I can't call you my Stepmom. It sounds nothing like what you deserve. You are a Saint and a treasure. Our lives are infinitely better because you're in them.

My West Coast cousins & aunts . . . For never making me feel like an outsider. Every toast, every laugh, every tear is cherished and loved. I'm the luckiest "new girl" ever.

My Sisters - God didn't give my parents another daughter. I'm sure that was grace at it's finest.  But He gave you to me.  Years later, decades later, several years ago. Whenever, wherever, you know who you are.  You inspire me, you humble me, you make the good days better and the hard days more manageable.  My love for you is deep and my admiration is deeper. 

My Babies - You are ridiculous.  I spend every day intermittently yelling at you, begging you to do chores and cracking up laughing at you both.  In the very same moment you can make me crazy and make my heart soar.  You are my soul and my light.  THANK YOU for choosing me to be your Mom.  I am honored and blessed by every minute you give me and never, ever forget to give Thanks for the most important gifts in my life.  Today was perfect.  Tomorrow will be another story.  But I'll always be your Mama.

Happy Mother's Day

Sunday, May 2, 2010

No Greater Love

Our precious son received his First Holy Communion today.  I am completely in awe of God's power and the grace that he lends to us through the eyes of children.  Some of the most special moments of my entire life happened on this stunning spring Sunday.

Thank you dear Lord

Thank you for that little boy and for giving his Dad and me the strength to guide him and teach him about your unconditional love

Thank you for filling our home with a generous and loving family

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

The Athlete with his Godfather

Absolutely busting at the seams with excitement

So proud and honored to be his parents

God Bless you sweet angels


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