Thursday, October 8, 2009

Letters to Someone

Dear Second Grade Teachers -

We know that ITBS testing a BIG deal this week. Got it. We are serving healthy meals and snacks, allowing time to relax and praying promptly at 7:52 so he gets a good night's sleep. We've been fully compliant with all of your requests. However, in return for not serving any Happy Meals or Froot Loops this week we were delighted to know that we also had four nights of no homework. But you still send home the homework sheet and write "play a board game with your family." Aw come on. Really? That's just rude. Meals. check. Time to relax. check. Plenty of rest. check. But a board game AND reading after dinner on Tuesday. You're pushing it.

Nothing squirrelly tonight, please. We'll handle the relaxation on our own.

Most Sincerely,
The Parents who Need a Homework Break

Dear Metabolism -

I miss you. I know that I've eaten pizza twice in the last week, AND nachos, AND tacos at midnight. I know. But did you have to disappear entirely and leave me with these lumps that weren't there before? I'm a little self conscious of how quickly you've abandoned me. Can we negotiate? I'll have salad at least three days a week if you'll come home. I'll even give you a holiday bonus if you get back before it's time for baking. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

Love you lots,
The EXTRA Curvy Girl

Dear Christmas Cards -

Please stop taunting me. Please. I want you so badly with all your timeless phrases and of the moment color combos and designs that will feature my gorgeous kids. I browse and lust far more than I should and it's only the first week of October! Every year I swear I won't be lured by you and spend more than I should, but man are you hard to resist. Please find someone else to torture. I'm sure I'll be fine with simple, inexpensive cards. Just fine.

Lots & Lots of Love,
Your Not So Secret Admirer

Dear Darling Family -

You are extraordinary. Just so fabulously great. Seriously. I've been a bit of a professional train wreck lately and there you are when I walk in with your sweaty hair, marker on your elbows and a smile for me and all the rest just disappears. I appreciate you so much for backing my car out of the garage in the mornings, putting your stars in the right spots on your chore chart and for wanting to read and pray with me every single night. Until the Big Man decides this gig is up for me I will continue adoring you and giving my eternal thanks for the chance to be in your orbit. I love you all more than words can ever say.

Very Truly,
The Luckiest Woman Alive

You can head over to Shortmama's today and read her super funny letters and you can see what her bloggy friends have to say, too.  It's always a good time around here!


f8hasit said...

We do the Iowa testing here...and surprisingly enough EVERY year my daughter has come down with strep throat.

Stress related? I'm positive.

C'mon. Let's just let the kids be kids for a change....

Oh, and can you send Mr. Metabolism a ditto note for me as well? Thanks.


Emmy said...

These are great! Seriously, what is the deal Christmas in the beginning of October! I guess we are just skipping thanksgiving this year.

WhisperingWriter said...

Love these.

Tommy is doing testing as well. He's all, "And we keep doing these tests! It's not pleasant!"

shortmama said...

Would it make you jealous to know that my daughter is on break while you are dealing with the tests? Im ornery I know!

Desert Rose said...

What Shortmama forgot to mention is that sure the kids are on break here...but we're not, back to her comment on Rhiannon and her billion questions!

I know the school's are trying to push family time with that kind of stuff, but really, it just creates whininess in my kids. We have our own things we choose for family time, don't like the school to try and stipulate what should be done.

I am currently missing metabolism and tight skin.

I just bought a Christmas card the other day for my husbands two kids in was too cute to pass by!

You may be a "train wreck", but at least you're a beautiful one!

MiMi said...

I think I was actually born without metabolism. Is that possible? Or maybe my metabolism got mixed up and works opposite?? I don't know.
Love your letters, very cute! 'Cept for the last one. Very sweet!

Michelle and Heath said...

I love these! :)

Tyne said...

That last letter was a delight. I am so glad that I am not at the standardized test phase of life. Board game? No thanks.

Metabolism? Isn't that something that I delivered out of my body with my first child? I can hardly remember what that word means.

Genny said...

Saw your comment over at Tyne's blog and wanted to stop by and say hi! You have a beautiful blog here, and a beautiful family!


i too need a break from homework! whatev! like a 1st grader needs homework? wth?

thanks for stopping by the crib and i'm wondering if you ever picked up your award from me?

JennyMac said...

You are too cute. Love the letter to your family but your letter about Christmas cards made me laugh so much because I am the same way...I have SO many already and buy more EVERY year...and I make my own too. Love the cards. I just handmade about 20 cards for Halloween. Ridiculous. LOL.

Helene said...

You write THE best letters!!! Yeah, what's up with all the homework? My older twins just started kindergarten and they have homework every single night AND we have to read them books every single night and document it on a "book list" that we need to turn in at the end of every month. I read to the kids anyway at bedtime every night but to have to document it, as if I need to report it to someone as proof that I'm reading to my children. It's almost insulting!!


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