Dear Second Grade Teachers -
We know that ITBS testing a BIG deal this week. Got it. We are serving healthy meals and snacks, allowing time to relax and praying promptly at 7:52 so he gets a good night's sleep. We've been fully compliant with all of your requests. However, in return for not serving any Happy Meals or Froot Loops this week we were delighted to know that we also had four nights of no homework. But you still send home the homework sheet and write "play a board game with your family." Aw come on. Really? That's just rude. Meals. check. Time to relax. check. Plenty of rest. check. But a board game AND reading after dinner on Tuesday. You're pushing it.
Nothing squirrelly tonight, please. We'll handle the relaxation on our own.
The Parents who Need a Homework Break
Dear Metabolism -
I miss you. I know that I've eaten pizza twice in the last week, AND nachos, AND tacos at midnight. I know. But did you have to disappear entirely and leave me with these lumps that weren't there before? I'm a little self conscious of how quickly you've abandoned me. Can we negotiate? I'll have salad at least three days a week if you'll come home. I'll even give you a holiday bonus if you get back before it's time for baking. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.
Love you lots,
The EXTRA Curvy Girl
Dear Christmas Cards -
Please stop taunting me. Please. I want you so badly with all your timeless phrases and of the moment color combos and designs that will feature my gorgeous kids. I browse and lust far more than I should and it's only the first week of October! Every year I swear I won't be lured by you and spend more than I should, but man are you hard to resist. Please find someone else to torture. I'm sure I'll be fine with simple, inexpensive cards. Just fine.
Lots & Lots of Love,
Your Not So Secret Admirer
Dear Darling Family -
You are extraordinary. Just so fabulously great. Seriously. I've been a bit of a professional train wreck lately and there you are when I walk in with your sweaty hair, marker on your elbows and a smile for me and all the rest just disappears. I appreciate you so much for backing my car out of the garage in the mornings, putting your stars in the right spots on your chore chart and for wanting to read and pray with me every single night. Until the Big Man decides this gig is up for me I will continue adoring you and giving my eternal thanks for the chance to be in your orbit. I love you all more than words can ever say.
The Luckiest Woman Alive
You can head over to Shortmama's today and read her super funny letters and you can see what her bloggy friends have to say, too. It's always a good time around here!