Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Ten Things

Yeow!  I know I say this every month, but this month I REALLY mean it.  There is absolutely no way that there were four weeks in March, because it was just March 3 and I was boarding a plane to somewhere . . .  Man, oh man.

I always love Emmy's reminders for ten things about my month that make me smile.  Go see what other friends had to smile about this month. 

Goodness abounds.

seeing Spring creep around the corner

just another day at the office that's never just a day at the office

Aspen Mountain Club - Aspen, CO

lots of safe landings that let me come home to my family

committing to spiritual reading for Lent and truly feeling like I am better for it

my darling new necklace from Lisa Leonard Designs

helping The Athlete prepare for Immigration Day at school

reliving Jesus' sacrifice for us through Stations of the Cross

bloggy friends with thoughtful comments who speak from experience and can offer perspective

seeing The Princess and the Frog at the "Dive In" movies with my Princess

open windows and open doors on a Sunday afternoon at home 

Wear a smile - one size fits all. ~Author Unknown

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Maybe "That Mom" Was on to Something

When I was growing up there were two girls that you did NOT want to cross. Their Mom was a little bit vicious and insane overprotective and everyone knew to tread lightly with her girls.  She would confront anyone, anywhere who was not treating her girls exactly as she felt they should be treated.  It didn't matter if you were 9 (I was, the first time she caught up with me) or 49.  Nita Holland was "That Mom".  I've spent the last 30 years thinking that she was crazy and overbearing. Now I am wondering if she might have been just a little bit genius.

We've not had much experience with E or me feeling the need to stick up for our kids.  There's the occassional kerfuffle at the beach or playground where I tell some kid to scram, but nothing that even sticks out in my mind.  We've had great coaches, great teachers and generally an easy go of it with all things kid politics.  Until now.

Baseball season started at the end of February and we still haven't figured out if The Athlete's coach is entirely unethical or if he just doesn't like kids that don't have his last name.  Every week reveals another crack in his creepy facade and it's just becoming too much for us.  His son is a great baseball player, but he is also obnoxious, rude and allowed to do anything he pleases.  I watched "Coach" (I do use the term loosely) fudge the line up this weekend and try to remove kids at the bottom of the order in an effort to put his son back at the plate.  My instinct is to rip his head off and use it in the next inning, but I somehow catch myself and realize that wouldn't be in the best interest of my child.  I barely catch myself.  I daydream a little too often about letting him have it.  I'm just dying to go all "That Mom" on him.

It is definitely painful to watch The Athlete progressively become less confident in himself as this idiot plows through the season favoring his son and a couple of other teammates.  Head down, hat over his eyes, sitting on the bench . . . Not my favorite pose.  It's even more painful to hear from other teams and coaches that they don't like playing us and that our Coach's interpretation of the rules is questionable.  Being categorized with the likes of him is the much bigger problem for us.  That is not how we roll.

So what's a girl to do?  Drag out my Nita Holland book of crazy and just get it off my chest?  Report him to the League?  Take The Athlete off the team?  They all seem possible, but none seem just right.  But it would be a relief to be "That Mom" just this one time . . .  No one deserves it more than my Baby Boy

Friday, March 26, 2010

How many limbs are you missing?

Generally I don't write when I have nothing nice to say.  My family is tired and overwhelmed with the chaos of life as we know it.  Our obligations have outweighed our spirit lately, and it shows.  I haven't quite finalized the arrangements on a full blown pity party, but I'm close.  And then I met Nick.

I am reviewing speakers for an event in Washington DC and Nick Vujicic was recommended.  He was born without arms and legs.  ANY arms and legs. 

He is handsome
He is charismatic
He is funny


He is NOT feeling sorry for himself

because he's tired and has three more meetings before his weekend begins.  He's smiling.  And joking.  And proving that life is nothing but what you make it.

Are you tired and overwhelmed like us?  Take some time to watch Nick.  I truly hope you'll be blessed, too.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

6 out of 23 is not a great ratio

On the 22nd day of the month I have slept in my own bed for six nights.  I am absolutely running on empty and trying to give my kids the love and reassurance they need right now.  E is gone on his third trip in as many weeks and it's just been a rough month.  I need to get my house in order, get some sleep and feel like myself again before I can be the brilliant writer that I usually am.  Forgive me, please.

When I'm feeling like this I force myself to find something to be truly thankful for and smile about. I know there are a million, but sometimes they just seem to be buried under dishes and laundry!!

This photo was taken yesterday in Phoenix at a Padres Spring Training Game.  My kids were sweaty and smelled like sunflower seeds.  E was happy to be watching baseball and spending time with his family.  He is the greatest Dad EVER and lights me up when I see him with our babies.  My heart smiles and my spirit soars when I see them all so happy and REAL.

I hope your heart is smiling tonight, too. - xoxo, Mrs. Montoya

Monday, March 15, 2010

Better than I could ever say it

People that have known me for a lllooooonnnggg time get a kick out of the fact that I call myself "Mrs Montoya".  For someone so fiercely independent and seemingly predisposed to take care of me, and only me, it is a little laughable that I want so badly to be identified as belonging to someone else.  I am totally OK with that.  And this is why.

Being married is the greatest thing in my life.  Is every day butterflies and chocolate sprinkles?  Absolutely freakin' not.  I am a loyal wife. I am not a liar.  Being married is hard work, but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive.  Posts on marriage cross my mind all the time, but I can never quite get to where I want to be in writing.  And guess what?!?!?  Someone else did it.  Really, really beautifully.

I follow Sarah Mae on twitter and read her blog Like a Warm Cup of Coffee constantly. She is holy and real and a ton of other things that I think are cool.  Here's what she said today that grabbed me and made me ask her if I could repost her writing.

I want to be more like Jesus.

I want to love hard…everyday.

Lately I have felt led to share my Lenten sacrifice and subsequent revelations and honestly just haven't had time to sit down and put it in writing.  My heart says I need to do that this week.  I do want to be more like Jesus and I do want to love hard . . .everyday.

Thank you Sarah Mae for words more beautiful than I could deliver on my own.
Thank you, Lord for not letting me be my own.  It is a beautiful gift.
Go read what Sarah Mae has to say about marriage.  And visit her often.  You'll never be disappointed.

Friday, March 12, 2010

She's Super Smart and Funny

"Doing homework" with The Princess is one of my favorite things to do right now.  Just a couple of weeks ago she totally surprised E and me by reading an entire book to us.  It's so cool to see her learning and really applying herself.  She's discovered a love for reading that I just adore.  That can be nothing but good for her down the road.

Her favorite pastime in the car or while she's complaining about attentively watching her brother's baseball games is to spell words that I call out to her.  We go right through her sight words and she proudly spells them for me.


And we go on and on.  Good times for a while, but she definitely likes it more than me. I was trying to mix it up at baseball last night and throw in some words that we hadn't done before. So I started adding in things we could see.


She offers up teeth.

"Yeah, that's a good one.  Be sure you sound it and then spell it."


Just like it sounds.  Perfect.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Packing my Big Girl Pants

As an adult, a mother and a professional there is really no opportunity to curl up in the corner and say “I don’t want to “. As I watch The Princess defy all logic with her distaste for washing her hair or smiling on command, there’s a slight envy. How nice to simply say “I don’t want to.”

Yup, I feel like that

“I don’t want to do the laundry and make sure the thank you notes are done before I leave.”

“I don’t want to do the photo shoot at 11 PM.”

“I don’t want to sit in 22A in front of that damn baby.”

:: Sigh ::

“I don’t want to” sounds so, so nice. And truly ridiculous.

Teaching our children the positive values of responsibility and follow through are important to E and me. The more we grow as parents and adults the more we see the value of practicing what we preach.

We don’t say “I don’t want to.”

We do say, “I’d really rather not leave you, but I said I would do this and there are people counting on me.”

Seat 22A is mine today and I will work more than 100 hours in the next six days.

No. I don’t want to.

I want to be the Mom that screams the loudest at The Athlete’s first baseball game on Saturday and let The Princess sit on my lap in church on Sunday. I don’t want to be here.

But I said I would.

It's a good thing I packed my big girl pants. They’re going to come in handy for this one.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Crushing their spirit - every night at 8 pm

The moment that the words come out the regret creeps in.

"No, not tonight.  It's late."

"Can we do it tomorrow?  I need to finish the laundry."

We pray and exchange a kiss and their eyes are begging for me to see them.  I smooth their hair and kiss them again.  And walk away.  The book doesn't get read a second time and the unfulfilled promise of quality time hangs in the air.  My heart breaks while the laundry gets folded.

There's not a lot in the world that I want.  There's a little house at the beach with our names on the mortgage and reliable cars in the driveway.  The rooms are fully furnished, the pantry is full and the clothes fit.  To ask for anything else isn't necessary and mostly doesn't come.  Blessed.  Content.  Deeply Grateful.  That's all me.

However, if the gift of time could really be given I'd get a note right off to Santa.  I want to be at the top of the Good List for that one.  I desperately need this one thing.  The time for laundry and reading the Princess her favorite book a second time.  Enough rest for my busy Athlete and the time to chat endlessly about his fear of confessing to God and his disappointment in not winning in the Playoffs.  There's just never seems to enough and I fret over the impact it has on them.

I tell myself that they're fine.  I tell myself that the notes in lunch boxes, special days without a sibling and "I Love You" every day will carry them through.  Still I fret.  Will they just stop asking?  Am I losing my chance to be the one they go to?  The idea paralyzes me.

There's no additional time in our immediate future and I can't afford the level of sad that's creeping over me.  They are learning from me that you honor your commitments and you work hard even when you don't want to.  I do know in my heart that those concepts will serve them well, but I don't want them to suffer in the interim.

Lord, please help me help their spirits soar.  Even at 8 pm on a school night.  Amen.


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