Primetime Television Debut

OMG - my life is so busy right now, and chock FULL of happy moments I could write on my blog for days. But that would be a little self-serving right? My family is far more interesting, charming and deserving of my shameless praise and promotion. But I did have a great time with my Super Great Girlfriend yesterday that I have to share! We went to a taping of The Bachelor: The Women Tell All. We laughed for hours because the whole situation seemed so unreal.

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor/index?pn=bios#t=bachelor&d=84810

It is VERY hot in California right now and it was over 100 degrees in Glendale yesterday when we drove up. The "call time" was 2 PM and we got to where we were supposed to be a little after 1. We hadn't eaten and went in search of a restroom and something to eat. We laughed and laughed because the neighborhood we were in was a LOT different from San Clemente. I was wearing a sleeveless black undershirt and I could NOT put on my jacket because I didn't want to wilt before my primetime debut. So there we are in a Jack in the Box and we've never felt so squeaky clean and shiny white! We are pure comedy together sometimes and this was no exception. Of course we were standing in a Jack in the Box in Glendale together, me in a tube top and her in this gorgeous silk blouse with freshly highlighted, shiny blond hair. Of course!!

So we parked at a church where there was a single posterboard painted with WTE AUDIENCE PARKING. We were being shuttled to the studio! Who knew? We quickly learned how serious they were about confidentiality when we signed confidentiality agreements acknowledging that the show would suffer immeasurable damages if we leaked information and we could be sued for up to Five Million dollars. Needless to say, I won't be sharing with you who Matt picks ; )

After we took a van to the studio from the barrio, I mean church, we waited in line outside for what seemed like a reeeallllly long time. Remember 100+ degrees outside. There were assistants roaming with clipboards and headsets asking people if they were willing to ask a question. Hello, of course I'm willing. I'd love to!!! So I give them my question and push Amy out of line to ask her question, too. It's our big chance to be on TV, right? We finally file into the studio in small groups and they check our handbags for cameras, cell phones, random contraband and pass us through a metal detector. I've been lucky enough in the last few years to see some major stage productions and understand what it takes to turn nothing into something special. The Producers of The Bachelor clearly understand, also. There were a million candles, flowers, lights and monitors in exactly the right places in this empty studio in the middle of nowhere. There were so many flowers that it actually smelled good in the room. Niiiiice

Amy and I were still having fun just being part of this. We would look at each other and crack up for really no good reason at all. About ten minutes into being in our seats we realized that we weren't part of the group that was going to be able to ask questions. Bummer! We were there to be on TV,and we were missing our chance. Well, not so long after that we realized that we WERE going to be on TV. We were sitting right behind Chris Harrison!!! For someone that thought they wanted to be on TV, I did not respond favorably. I was terrified. We sat in that studio for three or four hours and I hardly moved a muscle. I was so nervous and artificial and mesmerized. I am just dreading seeing the episode air in two weeks to see how silly I look as I sit paralyzed behind Chris Harrison the ENTIRE TIME.

The girls filed in - all of whom are incredibly thin and gorgeous. I mean really, really thin and gorgeous. If you need to put your ego in check, ever, I recommend watching a show where you are critical of other people. Then see them in person and realize that it must be absolutely true that the camera adds 50 pounds and washes you out. And THEN realize that you're going to be on camera!! Humbling is not a good enough word. These girls were beautiful and most of them seemed genuinely happy to see each other. Good for them because the rest of the experience for them seemed like it might not have been so fun.

Much later Matt came out. Holy hot! He is very tall, much more handsome in person than on the show, and incredibly witty. I don't have the personality (or the spray tanned, 95 lb body) to be willing to go through what these women went through should I ever not be married to my terrific husband, but I have to say that I think the isolation and hardships might have been worth it to the girl that snagged him. He truly seemed to be genuine and charming and in love with his brand new fiance. Good for her!

We had a lot of fun, I would definitely do it again (in a different seat) and I can't wait to see the final shows air. We got to watch the episode that will air tomorrow night where they go on their exotic dates on Barbados. It's GOOD! You'll especially like his date with Chelsea! If you watch the episode of the Women Tell All when it airs in two weeks be sure to look for us. I hope we're harder to find than it seemed when we were there. Amy is the beautiful blond and I am the statue to her left! I should keep my day job because I don't see this weekend as my big break into television ; )