Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out

We don't fight at my house.  I mean fight for real.  My kids pile on each other and express themselves too loudly and I have been known to tell my husband he's an idiot.  That's not a fight.  It's just life.

But last weekend I think we had a fight.  And I didn't like it.  At all.

I left without saying goodbye {I never do that}

He slept on the couch {He never does that}

We are both completely worn from the struggles of business and the pressure filled cycle of competitive sports and parenting sick kids who need more than we can easily give. And we took it out on each other.  That was a bad choice.

When there's a need for a truce I always back down first.  Harmony in my home means a lot more to me than proving whatever point I am hung up on at the moment.  Saying I'm sorry is never an issue for me.  But this time it was a little different somehow.  Sorry didn't come, because I wasn't.

I left home on Sunday before he woke up because I had already planned to spend a quiet day in the office to catch up.  I worked all day and missed my family.  When I called home to say goodnight The Princess had a fever again and I was just so deflated.  I wrapped up my last pass at a project and headed home with a cloudy mind and a heavy heart.

As I walked through a very quiet and still house a little blonde streak came running down the hall.  I kissed her hard and carried her the rest of the way back to where she came from.  The master bedroom was spotless and filled with the smell of baby girl shampoo.  Her Daddy had given her a tepid bath in the big tub to help quell her fever and washed her hair for her.

::: big sigh :::

There was no grand gesture or a giant "I'm sorry".  But there was a little girl who was getting all the love and care she needed from someone who was just as hurt as me.  And that may have been enough.  Little girl shampoo and clean sheets is all I need sometimes. 

Love you, E <3

In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely. ~ Robert Brault


kmcaffee said...

So precious! It's often in the smallest gestures that we see the biggest meaning, don't you think? New follower! :)

Adrienne said...

Stopping by from Shell's PYHO. This is a beautiful post. Sometimes it's the things we don't say that make all the differnce.

Shell said...

I feel like I'm always the one to say I'm sorry, just to make peace. But, there are few things that are too important for me to just give in to.

Hope that things are better now.

Rebecca said...

Sometimes you can get around the less important stuff by realizing what really is important...your little one feeling safe and loved.

I think it's okay not to feel sorry...I really do. It's hard for us, as women, but it's okay. I'm sure it will all get worked out and you'll like each other again...after all, the love never left...just the like.

Rachel Murphy said...

Beautiful post... isn't it the little things that make love so grand!

Emmy said...

Thank goodness for good men who love and care for our children. I know it has been Eric's love and skills as a father that have made me able to hang on and forgive other things when I thought I would not be able to.


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