Thing is singular.
Meaning that there's just this one nagging THING about motherhood lately that I am not loving. I have chosen to forego any conversation about stretch marks or breasts that have a new zip code south of their formerly lovely neighborhood. If not for children, I would have just found some other way to destroy my body so I will not blame any of that on my sweet children.
The Thing is how UnFun I am. Un.Fun. Being a Mom has somehow transformed me from the girl who thinks it's fun to play in the rain to the very serious woman who drills math facts in the car and barks about bedtime and brushing twice a day. Truly UnFun.
I am at an absolute loss on how to bridge the gap between raising responsible, considerate humans and embracing my inner life of the party. Is there some formula that effectively combines playing Uno and turning in homework on time? Is it possible to laugh at their antics and ignore bad behavior in church without somehow leading them to believe it's acceptable to make faces during the homily? My current answer to all of these questions is a resounding No.
I literally dropped everything tonight and drove too fast to get home so I could love on my kids before I put them to bed. I really needed to work for a couple more hours, but I had a cozy vision in my mind of snuggling with them both and reading their favorite books. It would be intimate and warm and they'd each fall asleep dreaming of my love for them and I would have a glass of wine satisfied that I can conquer corporate America tomorrow. That's not quite how it went down.
Instead I instantly turned into a whirling mess of
"where is this?"
"did you take your medicine?"
"is this due tomorrow?"
"no, we don't have time for that. it's past your bedtime."
Who is that? I don't know her. She is dull and stern and absolutely no fun. Am I the only one that thinks motherhood is the least amount of fun possible? Is it our only job to force feed vitamins and make sure no one under the age of 16 leaves the house without a jacket?
The Thing I need is a fun infusion.
And that glass of wine.