Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Sunday, November 17, 2013
REAL Thankful
As much as I want every day to be bountiful with goodness and for a grateful heart to overwhelm real life there is the very distinct reality that life isn't always full of goodness. People are cynical and jealous and sometimes drain on our ability to constantly act in love. That is reality.
Last night I struggled with something to be thankful for in my day. My thoughts were elsewhere and I just wasn't seeing goodness in the wonderful day that I'd had with my family. This morning I woke up with the intention of striving to be grateful ALL DAY in everything that I do and the reflection I am sharing below came to my attention almost immediately.
Wherever you are in your ability to be thankful, perhaps you also need some words of wisdom.
Developing a Mellow Heart
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped. Therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him. ~ Psalm 28:7
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Donut Day
Orange juice and extra quarters pushed me out of bed just a few minutes earlier this morning. Before I left for the store I kissed both of my warm, sleepy babies and asked them to get moving. It was our turn to sell donuts after mass and we needed to be there a little early to set up. I left with my fingers crossed that they would at least roll over before I returned.
Driving to the store I couldn't help thinking of the girl I didn't know. She wouldn't ever get to sell donuts with her brand new baby boy and her 10 year old son that plays baseball on an opposing team will never have his Mom wake him up on a Sunday again. Their story makes me unimaginably sad. Young, healthy and happy this lovely woman died in child birth. Her Dad is the principal of the school where the Athlete went to kindergarten. Two little boys lost their Mom and a loving family lost their daughter, their sister, their wife. Everyone is talking about it and everyone hurts for their family. We are not different.
Armed with coffee, the required gallon of orange juice and a roll of quarters I opened the front door and they were dancing. Music blaring, fully dressed and dancing. My sweet husband had cranked up the tunes as an incentive for the Princess to get out of bed. It worked. They were healthy and laughing and dancing in the family room before mass. My heart was so full.
We got to church in plenty of time and set up the donut room per the instructions. The other family that was scheduled with us is a single Mom who we know casually. She wasn't planning to stay for mass because she said they'd already been and right away I didn't believe her. My imperfect heart immediately judged her for not sitting through mass before her donut duty. Outside of the fact that it's none of my business what this woman chooses to do with her time. I was judging her in the house of the Lord.
The tears threatened me more than once in the mass. I knelt when we arrived and prayed for my own family and for the Gerhard and Weisberg families. The memorial service had been in the church on Saturday and I thought about how different their Sunday morning must have felt. With one arm tucked under E's elbow and the other one around my son and holding my daughter's hand my heart was undeservingly full. We were unexpectedly asked to present the gifts to Father and I was so humbled proud of the excitement in my son's face. My full heart got even fuller. We presented the gifts and left the sanctuary right after communion for our donut duty.
The other Mom and her daughter arrived not from mass and the judgement swirled in me even as I told myself that it should not be there. I don't really know her and I have no reason to be questioning anything about her. The kids had a great time serving donuts to their classmates and the other parishioners and the time passed quickly. We started to clean and I watched her load donuts onto a coffee filter to take with her.
"What is she doing? How tacky to take donuts that we're selling for the church."
"I will be the better person and make sure that I leave money for the donuts that she is taking. I will be better than her. I would not do that."
There is leftover orange juice that we both purchased for our duty and I tell her that we don't want it and offer it to her if she and her daughter will drink it.
"I can't take it. I am living in my car right now."
The tears threaten me again but for entirely different reasons. I am absolutely speechless and humiliated by myself and my dark heart. I desperately want to go the next service also and stay on my knees the entire time in repentance for my cruelty. And I remember the post from last week that struck me so deeply. KC wrote "Criticism is not a gift". Clearly I should have held it a little closer to my heart throughout the week. I have been mourning for someone I didn't know and was silently condemning someone I DO know for no known reason.
The Lord is always teaching me that I am my own worst enemy. The devil delights in me because I am so weak to his power. The lesson was learned and I need to translate my pride and bounty into true gratitude and humility. I am, as always, a work in progress.
Driving to the store I couldn't help thinking of the girl I didn't know. She wouldn't ever get to sell donuts with her brand new baby boy and her 10 year old son that plays baseball on an opposing team will never have his Mom wake him up on a Sunday again. Their story makes me unimaginably sad. Young, healthy and happy this lovely woman died in child birth. Her Dad is the principal of the school where the Athlete went to kindergarten. Two little boys lost their Mom and a loving family lost their daughter, their sister, their wife. Everyone is talking about it and everyone hurts for their family. We are not different.
Armed with coffee, the required gallon of orange juice and a roll of quarters I opened the front door and they were dancing. Music blaring, fully dressed and dancing. My sweet husband had cranked up the tunes as an incentive for the Princess to get out of bed. It worked. They were healthy and laughing and dancing in the family room before mass. My heart was so full.
We got to church in plenty of time and set up the donut room per the instructions. The other family that was scheduled with us is a single Mom who we know casually. She wasn't planning to stay for mass because she said they'd already been and right away I didn't believe her. My imperfect heart immediately judged her for not sitting through mass before her donut duty. Outside of the fact that it's none of my business what this woman chooses to do with her time. I was judging her in the house of the Lord.
The tears threatened me more than once in the mass. I knelt when we arrived and prayed for my own family and for the Gerhard and Weisberg families. The memorial service had been in the church on Saturday and I thought about how different their Sunday morning must have felt. With one arm tucked under E's elbow and the other one around my son and holding my daughter's hand my heart was undeservingly full. We were unexpectedly asked to present the gifts to Father and I was so humbled proud of the excitement in my son's face. My full heart got even fuller. We presented the gifts and left the sanctuary right after communion for our donut duty.The other Mom and her daughter arrived not from mass and the judgement swirled in me even as I told myself that it should not be there. I don't really know her and I have no reason to be questioning anything about her. The kids had a great time serving donuts to their classmates and the other parishioners and the time passed quickly. We started to clean and I watched her load donuts onto a coffee filter to take with her.
"What is she doing? How tacky to take donuts that we're selling for the church."
"I will be the better person and make sure that I leave money for the donuts that she is taking. I will be better than her. I would not do that."
There is leftover orange juice that we both purchased for our duty and I tell her that we don't want it and offer it to her if she and her daughter will drink it.
"I can't take it. I am living in my car right now."
The tears threaten me again but for entirely different reasons. I am absolutely speechless and humiliated by myself and my dark heart. I desperately want to go the next service also and stay on my knees the entire time in repentance for my cruelty. And I remember the post from last week that struck me so deeply. KC wrote "Criticism is not a gift". Clearly I should have held it a little closer to my heart throughout the week. I have been mourning for someone I didn't know and was silently condemning someone I DO know for no known reason.
The Lord is always teaching me that I am my own worst enemy. The devil delights in me because I am so weak to his power. The lesson was learned and I need to translate my pride and bounty into true gratitude and humility. I am, as always, a work in progress.
Romans 12:16
“Agree with each other. Don’t be proud.
Be willing to be a friend of people who aren’t considered important.
Don’t think that you are better than others.”
Monday, December 5, 2011
Birthday Blessings
Today would have been my Nanny's 92nd birthday. New Year's Day will mark the fourth anniversary of when I held her hand for the last time and I miss her terribly. If I could call her today and wish her a happy birthday I would be sure to sing in my clearest, happiest voice. No one ever made me happier or feel better than my Nanny did for most of my life.
When I pray with my children and tell them of the Lord's goodness I ALWAYS think of her. She was so faithful and steadfast. She would enjoy their enthusiasm and love for God so much. Psalm 23 was her favorite scripture. It reminds me of her. Just like hummingbirds, butterflies and homemade waffles. They were all uniquely her to me. Happy Birthday, little bird. I love and miss you so much.
Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Amen.
When I pray with my children and tell them of the Lord's goodness I ALWAYS think of her. She was so faithful and steadfast. She would enjoy their enthusiasm and love for God so much. Psalm 23 was her favorite scripture. It reminds me of her. Just like hummingbirds, butterflies and homemade waffles. They were all uniquely her to me. Happy Birthday, little bird. I love and miss you so much.
Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Amen.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Greater Than One
The post that is rattling around in my head should really be three {or four} posts. Big, well written posts. There is nothing sparkly or fluffy about what's going on around here lately.
There's the passing of our precious old dog and how we're working through that. The kids are doing better than E and me, but all of us are feeling it in different ways. He was such a big part of our family.
We're also focused pretty heavily on a new canine companion for our sweet doggie girl who has never been alone a day in her life and was suddenly left without her friend. She is needy by nature and her loneliness is not helping.
A lot of soul searching happens with us {E and me} when we are making big decisions. It is surely a good thing that we don't take those things lightly, but on some levels it just makes everything more complex and cumbersome. Making decisions based on ALL the facts and how we feel about every facet of it is a little outside of my expertise, but it certainly is enlightening and encouraging to be truly honest. A dog is a big deal in our house. As is where we think we'll be living six years from now and whether or not we're making sound decisions for our family.
Definitely more than one post.
At the heart of those matters, and the one that means more to us than anything, is setting positive examples for our children. In handling grief, to making decisions that will impact us for much longer than it takes for the puppy to make them giggle and lick their faces all the way to treating everyone the way we want to be treated - they are taking their lead from us. All day. Every day. It exhausts me and if I'm not always feeling like it's the privilege that it truly is I could be given to complaining. And a perfect post popped into my inbox that is the loveliest reminder of the way it should be.
KC at Sanctified Pearl wrote about replacing complaints with thankfulness. Her sentiment is so lovely and so timely. I wanted to share her beautiful words with you and the scripture that she references.
There's the passing of our precious old dog and how we're working through that. The kids are doing better than E and me, but all of us are feeling it in different ways. He was such a big part of our family.
We're also focused pretty heavily on a new canine companion for our sweet doggie girl who has never been alone a day in her life and was suddenly left without her friend. She is needy by nature and her loneliness is not helping.
A lot of soul searching happens with us {E and me} when we are making big decisions. It is surely a good thing that we don't take those things lightly, but on some levels it just makes everything more complex and cumbersome. Making decisions based on ALL the facts and how we feel about every facet of it is a little outside of my expertise, but it certainly is enlightening and encouraging to be truly honest. A dog is a big deal in our house. As is where we think we'll be living six years from now and whether or not we're making sound decisions for our family.
Definitely more than one post.
At the heart of those matters, and the one that means more to us than anything, is setting positive examples for our children. In handling grief, to making decisions that will impact us for much longer than it takes for the puppy to make them giggle and lick their faces all the way to treating everyone the way we want to be treated - they are taking their lead from us. All day. Every day. It exhausts me and if I'm not always feeling like it's the privilege that it truly is I could be given to complaining. And a perfect post popped into my inbox that is the loveliest reminder of the way it should be.
KC at Sanctified Pearl wrote about replacing complaints with thankfulness. Her sentiment is so lovely and so timely. I wanted to share her beautiful words with you and the scripture that she references.
“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you.”
Philippians 2:14 – 15a
May you be blessed the way that I was with KC's wisdom and have a renewed sense of gratitude and enpowerment in your heart to share.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Keeping up with the Joneses
Our family blog has been desperately neglected lately. We've been working {too much}, traveling {a lot} and playing {hard}. When I want to sit down and write I end up unloading the dishwasher or just collapsing in a heap in bed. Besides being painfully busy lately the recurring theme of the adult conversations in our house is about whether or not we're headed in the right direction. Not as a couple - thank goodness we finally figured that out - but as parents.
Are we really doing what's right for them?
Those conversations always bring up so much self doubt for me and insecurity about how good I really am. The absolute truth of all of that is that I never feel worthy of the true goodness that has been bestowed upon me. My deepest darkest secret is that I think everyone else just does it so much better.
Their homes are more beautiful. Their thighs are a little slimmer. They are more patient and loving with their children.
Even as I know this about myself, I struggle with my children wanting to be like someone else or be something that is less than their authentic self. All I want for them is to be the very best of whatever God intended for them to be.
And Emily from Jones Design Company popped into my inbox at 7:29 AM and I devoured her words immediately. Funny how that happens sometimes.
Emily is someone that I think just has it all together. Her home is so lovely. And she's very pretty and writes beautifully. She knows how to edit digital photos and sew ruffle pillows. She would definitely never wear flip flops to the dentist and her life must be so much better than mine. Or she may just be human like the rest of us.
Her post today spoke directly to my heart and gave me a little hope and inspiration that I am desperately needing right now. You can read the whole post here, but if you don't make it any further you have to read this devotion that she shared with her children.
Are we really doing what's right for them?
Those conversations always bring up so much self doubt for me and insecurity about how good I really am. The absolute truth of all of that is that I never feel worthy of the true goodness that has been bestowed upon me. My deepest darkest secret is that I think everyone else just does it so much better.
Their homes are more beautiful. Their thighs are a little slimmer. They are more patient and loving with their children.
Even as I know this about myself, I struggle with my children wanting to be like someone else or be something that is less than their authentic self. All I want for them is to be the very best of whatever God intended for them to be.
And Emily from Jones Design Company popped into my inbox at 7:29 AM and I devoured her words immediately. Funny how that happens sometimes.
Emily is someone that I think just has it all together. Her home is so lovely. And she's very pretty and writes beautifully. She knows how to edit digital photos and sew ruffle pillows. She would definitely never wear flip flops to the dentist and her life must be so much better than mine. Or she may just be human like the rest of us.
Her post today spoke directly to my heart and gave me a little hope and inspiration that I am desperately needing right now. You can read the whole post here, but if you don't make it any further you have to read this devotion that she shared with her children.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thirty Days of Thankfulness ~ Day Five
Day Five - November 21
Today I am thankful for Sunday service in the magical little church where we were married. Sitting in in the pew w/ E and our kids is an opportunity I can't possibly take for granted.
I have to add a footnote to this. The church where we were married makes me endlessly happy. It was built in 1845 and is made entirely from indigenous materials to the islands of Hawaii. Shoes are not permitted on the koa wood alter and the building sits about 100 feet from the ocean.
Today I am thankful for Sunday service in the magical little church where we were married. Sitting in in the pew w/ E and our kids is an opportunity I can't possibly take for granted.
I have to add a footnote to this. The church where we were married makes me endlessly happy. It was built in 1845 and is made entirely from indigenous materials to the islands of Hawaii. Shoes are not permitted on the koa wood alter and the building sits about 100 feet from the ocean.
M.A.G.I.C.
The building and location are definitely magical, there's no question about it. But a lot of the magic comes from their pastor, Reverend Kealahou Alika. He is native to the Hawaiian islands and holds a very, very special place in my heart. He is kind and warm and witty and was my favorite part of our wedding celebration (besides my husband!!!). Ten years later and I still feel the same way.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Ten Things: September 2010
It feels like Emmy posts her Ten Things earlier and earlier each month, but it could just be my increased dismay with the entire year slipping right past us. I admire her efficiency and always love that she shares her grateful heart so easily, but I can't post one day sooner than the end of the month. I need every day I can get to savor the moments and little occasions that may never come again.
The kiddos getting off to a great start in the new school year
The YouTube video that E found that helped him teach The Athlete how to ride a bike in less than five minutes.
AND the Athlete loving riding a bicycle {his sister's} so much that he proudly went to the bank to withdraw his recycling money from savings to buy his own two-wheeler
Our kids making memories with their only living Great Grandparent
A belated birthday gift that included margaritas, a great concert and some much needed adult time with my One and Only
The Princess playing her first season ever of soccer, and loving every minute of it
Go Rainbow Superstars!
This crazy clown who thinks he is ALL business with his new student desk
My little rose garden that reminds me of my Nanny every.single.day.
A gracious, and patient Lord that lets me be my cranky, ugly, ungrateful self for as long as it takes and welcomes me back with open arms. No questions asked
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
~ Psalm 23
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Ten Things
And there it goes again.
A month.
Days and weeks pass and I think things will change, but for now they don't. What seems impossible in reality IS reality and we're doing it. Minute by minute and mostly by the seat of our pants. But we are doing it and one day we'll be better for it. Faith guides me to know that when we come out on the other side of this (whatever this is) we will be stronger, better and more grateful.
As for May, like every month of my life as Mrs. Montoya and the mom to our kids - I have ten (thousand) things that make me smile. Emmy has some great things to love this month, too. Go see her and sweet little Ryder here
My shiny new iPad!
Sweet little kiddos enjoying the good life
Believing in happily ever after
Seeing someone get his sparkle back
Triple Venti Skinny Vanilla Lattes
Getting away for a long weekend with warm and generous friends
A month.
Days and weeks pass and I think things will change, but for now they don't. What seems impossible in reality IS reality and we're doing it. Minute by minute and mostly by the seat of our pants. But we are doing it and one day we'll be better for it. Faith guides me to know that when we come out on the other side of this (whatever this is) we will be stronger, better and more grateful.
As for May, like every month of my life as Mrs. Montoya and the mom to our kids - I have ten (thousand) things that make me smile. Emmy has some great things to love this month, too. Go see her and sweet little Ryder here
Having somewhere to call home after every long day
My parents
His First Holy Communion
My parents
His First Holy Communion
Her sparkling blue eyes and crazy sense of humor
My shiny new iPad!
Sweet little kiddos enjoying the good life
Believing in happily ever after
Seeing someone get his sparkle back
Triple Venti Skinny Vanilla Lattes
Getting away for a long weekend with warm and generous friends
The list goes on and on . . . Lucky me ~ xoxo
Sunday, May 2, 2010
No Greater Love
Thank you dear Lord
Thank you for that little boy and for giving his Dad and me the strength to guide him and teach him about your unconditional love
Thank you for filling our home with a generous and loving family
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
The Athlete with his Godfather
Absolutely busting at the seams with excitement
So proud and honored to be his parents
God Bless you sweet angels
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Ten Things
Yeow! I know I say this every month, but this month I REALLY mean it. There is absolutely no way that there were four weeks in March, because it was just March 3 and I was boarding a plane to somewhere . . . Man, oh man.
I always love Emmy's reminders for ten things about my month that make me smile. Go see what other friends had to smile about this month.
Goodness abounds.
bloggy friends with thoughtful comments who speak from experience and can offer perspective
seeing The Princess and the Frog at the "Dive In" movies with my Princess
open windows and open doors on a Sunday afternoon at home
I always love Emmy's reminders for ten things about my month that make me smile. Go see what other friends had to smile about this month.
Goodness abounds.
seeing Spring creep around the corner
just another day at the office that's never just a day at the office
just another day at the office that's never just a day at the office
Aspen Mountain Club - Aspen, CO
lots of safe landings that let me come home to my family
committing to spiritual reading for Lent and truly feeling like I am better for it
{love}
helping The Athlete prepare for Immigration Day at school
reliving Jesus' sacrifice for us through Stations of the Cross
bloggy friends with thoughtful comments who speak from experience and can offer perspective
seeing The Princess and the Frog at the "Dive In" movies with my Princess
open windows and open doors on a Sunday afternoon at home
Wear a smile - one size fits all. ~Author Unknown
Friday, March 26, 2010
How many limbs are you missing?
Generally I don't write when I have nothing nice to say. My family is tired and overwhelmed with the chaos of life as we know it. Our obligations have outweighed our spirit lately, and it shows. I haven't quite finalized the arrangements on a full blown pity party, but I'm close. And then I met Nick.
I am reviewing speakers for an event in Washington DC and Nick Vujicic was recommended. He was born without arms and legs. ANY arms and legs.
He is handsome
He is charismatic
He is funny
and
He is NOT feeling sorry for himself
because he's tired and has three more meetings before his weekend begins. He's smiling. And joking. And proving that life is nothing but what you make it.
Are you tired and overwhelmed like us? Take some time to watch Nick. I truly hope you'll be blessed, too.
Have a great weekend!
I am reviewing speakers for an event in Washington DC and Nick Vujicic was recommended. He was born without arms and legs. ANY arms and legs.
He is handsome
He is charismatic
He is funny
and
He is NOT feeling sorry for himself
because he's tired and has three more meetings before his weekend begins. He's smiling. And joking. And proving that life is nothing but what you make it.
Are you tired and overwhelmed like us? Take some time to watch Nick. I truly hope you'll be blessed, too.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Better than I could ever say it
People that have known me for a lllooooonnnggg time get a kick out of the fact that I call myself "Mrs Montoya". For someone so fiercely independent and seemingly predisposed to take care of me, and only me, it is a little laughable that I want so badly to be identified as belonging to someone else. I am totally OK with that. And this is why.
Being married is the greatest thing in my life. Is every day butterflies and chocolate sprinkles? Absolutely freakin' not. I am a loyal wife. I am not a liar. Being married is hard work, but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive. Posts on marriage cross my mind all the time, but I can never quite get to where I want to be in writing. And guess what?!?!? Someone else did it. Really, really beautifully.
I follow Sarah Mae on twitter and read her blog Like a Warm Cup of Coffee constantly. She is holy and real and a ton of other things that I think are cool. Here's what she said today that grabbed me and made me ask her if I could repost her writing.
I want to be more like Jesus.
I want to love hard…everyday.
Lately I have felt led to share my Lenten sacrifice and subsequent revelations and honestly just haven't had time to sit down and put it in writing. My heart says I need to do that this week. I do want to be more like Jesus and I do want to love hard . . .everyday.
Thank you Sarah Mae for words more beautiful than I could deliver on my own.
Thank you, Lord for not letting me be my own. It is a beautiful gift.
Go read what Sarah Mae has to say about marriage. And visit her often. You'll never be disappointed.
Being married is the greatest thing in my life. Is every day butterflies and chocolate sprinkles? Absolutely freakin' not. I am a loyal wife. I am not a liar. Being married is hard work, but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive. Posts on marriage cross my mind all the time, but I can never quite get to where I want to be in writing. And guess what?!?!? Someone else did it. Really, really beautifully.
I want to be more like Jesus.
I want to love hard…everyday.
Lately I have felt led to share my Lenten sacrifice and subsequent revelations and honestly just haven't had time to sit down and put it in writing. My heart says I need to do that this week. I do want to be more like Jesus and I do want to love hard . . .everyday.
Thank you Sarah Mae for words more beautiful than I could deliver on my own.
Thank you, Lord for not letting me be my own. It is a beautiful gift.
Go read what Sarah Mae has to say about marriage. And visit her often. You'll never be disappointed.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
To Celebrate or Wait - Part II
First, I want to be sure to say Thank You to my bloggy friends for your brilliant holiday suggestions and your unconditional support of my desire to wear reindeer ears. There are days when your comments alone make my world go round. Wednesday might have been one of them. Anywhoo . . .
I'm concerned that I wasn't quite clear on the reason for my struggle with festive vs. faithful. I am 143% into festive and don't have an issue with it. Eggnog for breakfast anyone? HOWEVER, my children attend private Catholic school and the formal teachings of the church don't mesh with eating sugar cookies for dinner and changing the outgoing message on the answering machine to Christmas carols. Thus my dilemma and maybe a little background.
I was raised as a Southern Baptist. When I moved to California there weren't an abundance of baptist churches and I attended Catholic mass with E. There was a certain comfort to me in the tradition and formality of the Catholic church that I hadn't been exposed to before. E never pushed me to convert to the religion and it was never an issue for us. I just kept taking my Baptist self to the Catholic church and folding my arms at communion.
When I was pregnant with The Athlete it became SUPER important to me to unify our faith. I was terrified to bring a child into in a world full of missing morals and misplaced values and religion was something tangible for me to give our family. I went through catechism while I was pregnant and was confirmed several weeks after The Athlete was born. Attending religious education as an adult was life changing for me and something I cherish deeply. For all the things I do wrong as a parent that one thing feels so right.
Back to the issue of festive. When we went to mass on Sunday night (last week, first Sunday of Advent) there was a newly fashioned sign in the Sanctuary that reads "Vigilant Anticipation". The church strongly encourages us not to get wrapped up in the commercialism of the holiday but to stay focused on our preparations for the celebration of Christ. Heavy stuff. For some reason this season it is particularly important to me to be sure that our holiday traditions are firmly rooted in the right place. Not just in our letters to Santa and decorating the tree, but identifying how the true meaning of the season impacts us. Both as a family and as faithful parishioners.
I've spent a few days reviewing material that's come home from school and doing some independent research on religious traditions of Advent. I will have to compromise. I simply cannot go along with decorating our tree on December 19. Can't. Won't. Not gonna do it. I am also not waiting to complete our Nativity Scene on December 23. But we have begun saying our bedtime prayers in front of it and are saying a special Christmas prayer for those in need when we light our Advent wreath each night.
Will we do it again next year? I honestly don't know. But I do believe that trying to do the right thing is better than none at all. And I learned from you that even the important lessons can be taught when wearing reindeer ears. Thank you, my friends. I do look better in the glow of the Christmas tree . . .
I'm concerned that I wasn't quite clear on the reason for my struggle with festive vs. faithful. I am 143% into festive and don't have an issue with it. Eggnog for breakfast anyone? HOWEVER, my children attend private Catholic school and the formal teachings of the church don't mesh with eating sugar cookies for dinner and changing the outgoing message on the answering machine to Christmas carols. Thus my dilemma and maybe a little background.
I was raised as a Southern Baptist. When I moved to California there weren't an abundance of baptist churches and I attended Catholic mass with E. There was a certain comfort to me in the tradition and formality of the Catholic church that I hadn't been exposed to before. E never pushed me to convert to the religion and it was never an issue for us. I just kept taking my Baptist self to the Catholic church and folding my arms at communion.
When I was pregnant with The Athlete it became SUPER important to me to unify our faith. I was terrified to bring a child into in a world full of missing morals and misplaced values and religion was something tangible for me to give our family. I went through catechism while I was pregnant and was confirmed several weeks after The Athlete was born. Attending religious education as an adult was life changing for me and something I cherish deeply. For all the things I do wrong as a parent that one thing feels so right.
Back to the issue of festive. When we went to mass on Sunday night (last week, first Sunday of Advent) there was a newly fashioned sign in the Sanctuary that reads "Vigilant Anticipation". The church strongly encourages us not to get wrapped up in the commercialism of the holiday but to stay focused on our preparations for the celebration of Christ. Heavy stuff. For some reason this season it is particularly important to me to be sure that our holiday traditions are firmly rooted in the right place. Not just in our letters to Santa and decorating the tree, but identifying how the true meaning of the season impacts us. Both as a family and as faithful parishioners.
I've spent a few days reviewing material that's come home from school and doing some independent research on religious traditions of Advent. I will have to compromise. I simply cannot go along with decorating our tree on December 19. Can't. Won't. Not gonna do it. I am also not waiting to complete our Nativity Scene on December 23. But we have begun saying our bedtime prayers in front of it and are saying a special Christmas prayer for those in need when we light our Advent wreath each night.
Will we do it again next year? I honestly don't know. But I do believe that trying to do the right thing is better than none at all. And I learned from you that even the important lessons can be taught when wearing reindeer ears. Thank you, my friends. I do look better in the glow of the Christmas tree . . .
Friday, November 20, 2009
Food For Thought
I've got so much to say, but I am earning a living today and need to stay focused. I AM compelled to share that I am joining Lysa TerKeurst for 37 Days of Kindness. Her message came to me at the right time and for the right reason. I am oh so grateful it did.
As we gear up for holiday shopping, and decorating, and cooking, and baking . . . let's also throw ourselves into loving each other and giving Thanks for our gifts. The gift of home, family and health. E and I are going away this weekend and my kids are beside themselves to go to their Grandma's house. I could easily have thrown them a wave them this morning and let their sleepover bliss carry them through until I see them again.
But I didn't.
I stopped them both in their tracks (much to The Athlete's chagrin) and kissed them firmly and said "I love you like crazy".
If the Lord decides that I won't get the chance to see them again I want to be sure that is what I leave them with.
Are you leaving your mark on the world?
Is it a good one?
As we gear up for holiday shopping, and decorating, and cooking, and baking . . . let's also throw ourselves into loving each other and giving Thanks for our gifts. The gift of home, family and health. E and I are going away this weekend and my kids are beside themselves to go to their Grandma's house. I could easily have thrown them a wave them this morning and let their sleepover bliss carry them through until I see them again.
But I didn't.
I stopped them both in their tracks (much to The Athlete's chagrin) and kissed them firmly and said "I love you like crazy".
If the Lord decides that I won't get the chance to see them again I want to be sure that is what I leave them with.
Are you leaving your mark on the world?
Is it a good one?
Go love someone more than they want to be loved and have a great weekend.
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
1 Corinthians 15: 58
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Get Right With the Man
It never fails that when I wear my Cranky Pants for all the world to see, I am unexpectedly offered a sincere reminder of my blessings.
I was afforded the special opportunity of weekday mass with The Athlete and his classmates. Have you ever had the opportunity to see 60 children under the age of 8 kneeling together in prayer? It is breathtaking. Truly.I can't really articulate the beauty of their innocence and genuine hunger to learn God's word. There is no dissent. No opposition. They are there as a whole without egos or judgement. They are listening carefully and quietly developing their own way to apply it. Every chance I've had to experience this stands still in my mind as one of those moments. Those moments.
The nurse handing me the baby in the middle of the night and saying Congratulations.
Sitting in bed with my Nanny on her last day here and chatting with my Mom.
Those moments are fleeting, but the impact is eternal and mind blowing. I hear the voice that is usually crowded out of my consciousness. And I come back to center. I am reminded to drop my cranky pants in the laundry and hang my woe is me hat on the rack. He's been dialing my number and I haven't been listening. I've been driving too fast, working too hard and fretting too much. All for naught. I'm covered.
Don't forget to count your blessings friends. A headache can be cured and the dog can be sold ;), but these moments will never happen again. Only we can choose what the memory looks like when the moment has ended.
Fight your fights, find the grace in all the things that you can't change
And help somebody if you can
And get right with the Man
~ Van Zant
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
My life is my job
“My life is my job”
This was published in an article over the weekend and realized that it’s exactly what I’ve been thinking and unable to articulate for a really long time. Work is what I do to earn a paycheck. My job is to care for myself and the people I love to ensure our happiness and success. My burning question is “how do I do both of them well?”
I am a Certified Meeting Professional and take business very seriously. I had to work in my field full time for five years to even be eligible to apply for the CMP designation and then had to meet the requirements in what seemed like a thousand other ways to qualify for the CMP exam. I have to maintain my status in the industry to recertify every five years and have to be recommended by colleagues and business partners. Blah, blah, blah . . . As important as all of that is to me, and it is, it doesn’t come anywhere near comparing to the importance of my job.
Work is an escape (no really) and an opportunity to contribute to something strategic and far reaching. I manage budgets in the millions and organize groups by the thousands. I develop content, write contracts and edit websites. It’s good work.
My job is a series of carefully crafted answers to adolescent questions like “Why are Jesus’ hands nailed to the cross on my necklace?” That question REALLY came out of Sophia’s mouth. You can’t tell me that’s not a job.
My job is life changing. Not so much for me but the two gorgeous gifts that God trusted me with and the man I am lucky enough to call my husband. The answers that I provide to their mind blowing questions, the attentiveness with which I listen to their concerns and whether or not I wash the t-shirt for that week’s camp have an impact far beyond a careless response to a business question at work.
Lately there seem to be too many days when it’s ALL falling apart.
Work is tense and hectic. It hinders my ability to do my job well.
My job currently requires a lot of paperwork, money and schedule planning and hinders my ability to work effectively. Is there an answer? I have no idea. BUT, what I saw recently and believe to be true is this –
The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
I am praying a lot more lately than I ever have and believe that caring with all my heart has to count for something until I can figure it out. Until then, I’ll have to use my free time to think of answers to the questions like:
“When a dog dies can he still bark in heaven?”
This was published in an article over the weekend and realized that it’s exactly what I’ve been thinking and unable to articulate for a really long time. Work is what I do to earn a paycheck. My job is to care for myself and the people I love to ensure our happiness and success. My burning question is “how do I do both of them well?”
I am a Certified Meeting Professional and take business very seriously. I had to work in my field full time for five years to even be eligible to apply for the CMP designation and then had to meet the requirements in what seemed like a thousand other ways to qualify for the CMP exam. I have to maintain my status in the industry to recertify every five years and have to be recommended by colleagues and business partners. Blah, blah, blah . . . As important as all of that is to me, and it is, it doesn’t come anywhere near comparing to the importance of my job.
Work is an escape (no really) and an opportunity to contribute to something strategic and far reaching. I manage budgets in the millions and organize groups by the thousands. I develop content, write contracts and edit websites. It’s good work.
My job is a series of carefully crafted answers to adolescent questions like “Why are Jesus’ hands nailed to the cross on my necklace?” That question REALLY came out of Sophia’s mouth. You can’t tell me that’s not a job.
My job is life changing. Not so much for me but the two gorgeous gifts that God trusted me with and the man I am lucky enough to call my husband. The answers that I provide to their mind blowing questions, the attentiveness with which I listen to their concerns and whether or not I wash the t-shirt for that week’s camp have an impact far beyond a careless response to a business question at work.
Lately there seem to be too many days when it’s ALL falling apart.
Work is tense and hectic. It hinders my ability to do my job well.
My job currently requires a lot of paperwork, money and schedule planning and hinders my ability to work effectively. Is there an answer? I have no idea. BUT, what I saw recently and believe to be true is this –
The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
I am praying a lot more lately than I ever have and believe that caring with all my heart has to count for something until I can figure it out. Until then, I’ll have to use my free time to think of answers to the questions like:
“When a dog dies can he still bark in heaven?”
Wish me luck . . .
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